Wednesday, 2 November 2016

Aldi Tat-Aisle Disaster

Nothing brings joy to the hearts of Grillust lecturers Dwayne, Jim and Tony (all 33), quite like a visit to The hallowed Aldi tat-aisle. Whether it's an opportune purchase of a Rio Olympics branded shell suit, unearthing a military grade, cold-war era, soviet nail gun and associated air compression unit buried in a pit of unlicensed hello kitty duffle coats or simply picking up the latest fad in kitchen utensil ('as seen on TV' Vegetable Spiralizer anyone?) they absolutely LOVE IT!

It's in the very 'unknown' of what might be held in those twin lanes of promise that grasps their attention and commands their loyalty so keenly.

However, sad times awaited one lecturer in particular. Today, it's our unfortunate duty to report back with this sad image, taken by Dwayne Bell (illustration lecturer and clothing for builders enthusiast), who, when we were able to coax words from him had this to say, "Nowt. They were empty. I got off my bus 6 stops early, as I do every Wednesday, to take in the glory of the tat aisles. I was hoping to find a gas powered roof felting tool; there's been rumours online (Dwayne's an avid 'Aldi tat-aisle forum user. username: Tat'll-do-nicely) of someone finding one at the Aldi in Dumfries recently. I was particularly excited. I don't even know what a gas powered roof felting tool is. To walk in and find this! Well, the bottom fell out of my world".

Dwayne tried to make the best of the situation by purchasing some polish strawberry chocolates and a large decorative box of turkish delights but, in his own words "it's just not the same".

We contacted Aldi who pointed out that there is still a large amount of winter clothing available for purchase or simply comedic 'trying on' sessions; including ponchos and 'kinda cowboy-ish looking hats'. They have extended an invite to Dwayne to return to the shop to take advantage of this.

Meanwhile, rumours abound of a shipment of North Korean work-boots that might be showing up in these very aisles in the near future. Is this the calm before the storm?


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