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Friday, 22 February 2013

An open letter to all of Advertising and Marketing


This has been blogged by our friends at Sell! Sell! (coincidentally where our graduates Ryan Young and Lee Freeman exercise their creative muscle).

Grillust™ agree entirely with the underlying message in this letter – that being the indisputable fact that marketing (as opposed to the noble profession of design) is an entirely greasy trade populated by the unimaginative and politically-correct. "MARK£T££Rs" (made up name, they're good at that), tooled-up with only smoke and mirrors, busy themselves with product profiles, mission statements, consumer focus groups and so on 'ad infinitum', until they have enough graphs, diagrams, core statements, trend reports to bore the jiggley-bits off a statue and promote bland, grey, homogeneous design in the hope that they will not offend anyone (see point 5 below). This plays right into the hands of timid managers who are really looking for someone to blame when it all goes wrong.

How to spot a "MARK£T££R" for Dummies

1. Endlessly and unnecessarily enthusiastic about a totally insignificant details (like 'strap lines', which if not corralled and dispatched at an early stage will become the entire 'focus' of all future marketing effort...

...until the next 'Mark£ting Consultant' has a go.

2. Endless and unnecessarily enthusiastic use of the 'language of Mark£ting'; a series of made-up words that have no real meaning, in order to make themselves seem interesting and dynamic.

3. Endlessly and unnecessarily enthusiastic about what everyone has to say in their endless meetings. Even if it's a naff idea you'll still be required to 'take it onboard'

4. Endlessly and unnecessarily deferential to their line managers – anything to avoid the question, 'what exactly is it that you do?'.

5. Endlessly and unnecessarily desperate to be 'in with the crowd'. Like Wildebeest, MARK£T££Rs like to be in the centre of things - it's harder to be picked off by the predators if you're in the centre.

In the 'Working Lives' spotlight next week; Staff Development Officers

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